Jon's Management Hall of Fame

As I come down to my final stretch for my "Leadership in Times of Change" class, I had to reflect on those whose management strategies and principles I strive to emulate.


1. C. Montgomery Burns -Mr. Burns effectively manages the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. He also is a civic leader, who participates in the Republican Party of Springfield. He sees the fact that employees are mindless, hapless fools that must be managed ruthlessly. He seems to have paid attention in his mid-Industrial Revolution management classes. I tell you, the world has just gone to pot since they took the kids out of the mills. Now they just hang out at the mall when they could be making stuff cheaper than they do in China.




2. Dr. Evil - Cryogenically frozen in the 1960s, he returns to take over the world and kill people with his "frickin' laser." I want one of those. Plus torture devices made with "frickin' sharks" with "frickin' laser beams" on their "frickin' heads" should be a staple in many more offices. That would cut down on the number of "coaching sessions" needed for inane behavior. Although I loath cats, I'd like to have a companion like Mr. Bigglesworth as well. I learned in my class that building a coalition is a part of managing an organization, I need a team like Dr. Evil's. With FB, Mini-Me, et al - who could go wrong.



3. The Brain - A lab rat turned evil genius. Who'd figure. "What are we going to do tomorrow, Brain?" "The same thing we do everyday, Pinky. TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"




4. Dr. Strangelove - A megalomaniac with nuclear weapons. Oooooh. In my class we had to watch "12 O'Clock High," a WWII classic on a dysfunctional bomber unit and review the leadership styles and influence on the team. How about a real leader who knows where the big red button is and isn't afraid to push it :).





5. Darth Vader - If elected President, my first Executive Order will be to replace the wussy "Hail to the Chief" with the "Imperial March." How "frickin' " cool would be to have AF1 taxi in, the stairs roll up and the prez come down with his black cape and the band playing William's epic Imperial March. The State of the Union address usually even puts Ted Kennedy asleep (oh, sorry, that's a 1/5th of scotch...I forgot). But, imagine if Lord Vader was giving the speech.....oooooh yeah.