Jon's Management Hall of Fame

As I come down to my final stretch for my "Leadership in Times of Change" class, I had to reflect on those whose management strategies and principles I strive to emulate.


1. C. Montgomery Burns -Mr. Burns effectively manages the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. He also is a civic leader, who participates in the Republican Party of Springfield. He sees the fact that employees are mindless, hapless fools that must be managed ruthlessly. He seems to have paid attention in his mid-Industrial Revolution management classes. I tell you, the world has just gone to pot since they took the kids out of the mills. Now they just hang out at the mall when they could be making stuff cheaper than they do in China.




2. Dr. Evil - Cryogenically frozen in the 1960s, he returns to take over the world and kill people with his "frickin' laser." I want one of those. Plus torture devices made with "frickin' sharks" with "frickin' laser beams" on their "frickin' heads" should be a staple in many more offices. That would cut down on the number of "coaching sessions" needed for inane behavior. Although I loath cats, I'd like to have a companion like Mr. Bigglesworth as well. I learned in my class that building a coalition is a part of managing an organization, I need a team like Dr. Evil's. With FB, Mini-Me, et al - who could go wrong.



3. The Brain - A lab rat turned evil genius. Who'd figure. "What are we going to do tomorrow, Brain?" "The same thing we do everyday, Pinky. TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"




4. Dr. Strangelove - A megalomaniac with nuclear weapons. Oooooh. In my class we had to watch "12 O'Clock High," a WWII classic on a dysfunctional bomber unit and review the leadership styles and influence on the team. How about a real leader who knows where the big red button is and isn't afraid to push it :).





5. Darth Vader - If elected President, my first Executive Order will be to replace the wussy "Hail to the Chief" with the "Imperial March." How "frickin' " cool would be to have AF1 taxi in, the stairs roll up and the prez come down with his black cape and the band playing William's epic Imperial March. The State of the Union address usually even puts Ted Kennedy asleep (oh, sorry, that's a 1/5th of scotch...I forgot). But, imagine if Lord Vader was giving the speech.....oooooh yeah.

Remember the Gipper

Some of the worst...

Yes, today is Halloween and much like it brings out the worst of the world's darkside, it's one of those holidays that brings the worst of Christendom to the top of pot. We often are subjected to baseless urban legends about satanic ritual abuse, razorblades in apples and poisoned candy - all of which have a lot of hype and little substance. Discredited kooks like Jack Chick and Bob Larson make their rounds telling outright crap - and then people buy it and feel obligated to spread the silliness around church.

Anyway, in the spirit of the holiday, I offer two of the worst offenders on the nutcase list:

First, Carmen's "Witches Invitation" video. It is 1980s-era tacky and carries a hint of the Satanism urban legends that were rampant at that time. Plus, it also features Carmen - who probably ranks as one of the least talented and cliche musicians of the era. He was to Christian music what David Hasselhoff was to television. The "witch" is hilarious too in this video, looks like such an Anton LeVay clone...and gotta have the Dungeons and Dragons games thrown in there too.




Next, my friends, you probably have seen this at least once in your life. Some people like to give it out to trick or treaters and its distributed far and wide around this time of the year. I have to bring up Halloween comics by the one and only Jack Chick!

Jack is famous for his factually-challenged scare-me-into-salvation comics, that come really close to being offensive - such as his one that claims that the Holocaust was a Jesuit conspiracy. An early edition of his comic "Dark Dungeons" claimed that C.S. Lewis and Tolkien wrote occult books, ROFL!



Anyway, here's the link: "http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0058/0058_01.asp"

The "Satanist" killing the cat is a hoot.

While I'm ranting, please let me recommend Snopes to you. Before you ever repeat a story or forward an email with juicy gossip, like "Hotel California" is a Satanic song, KISS stands for "Kids/Knights in Satanic Service," Proctor and Gamble is ran by the Satanic Church, xxxxx Christian singer/celebrity is really a Satanist....and blah, blah, blah...please visit Snopes. You'll find about 90% of the stuff is a load o'crap.

I'm done now. There's a neighborhood of cats waiting for me ;).

In the shadow of the moon.....

Ron Howard's new documentary "In the Shadow of the Moon" has just been released in limited theaters, thankfully one of them was in Tampa. Unfortunately, as there were no takers to go along...I went by myself, but it was a great film.

The best way I can describe it would be that it was like having a cup of coffee with those men who went to the moon. Since it happened recently, I think many of us miss the gravity of that event: the landing on the moon was one of the most historically significantly moments in human history. To put this film in perspective, it's like having a conversation with Magellan, Columbus, Marco Polo or da Gama.

I really enjoyed how the film captured the astronaut's personalities so well. You see a side of them that you don't get just watching mission footage. It was also interesting to see Charlie Duke, I had the chance to hear him speak when I was in Junior High.

The entire documentary was taken from real footage, too. No CGI, animation or artists impressions. All footage was from the real missions.

A quite memorable part was discussing Apollo 8, the first flight around the moon. As the astronauts were orbiting the moon on Christmas Eve, they read Genesis chapter 1. If you look at my blog's main page, you'll see the stamp that commemorated that event.

Visit the Film's website at: http://www.intheshadowofthemoon.com/ to see if it is showing at a theater near you. If not, be sure to rent the DVD.

Hopefully we go back to the moon, and beyond in my lifetime. I missed Apollo by a few years and hope that Constellation can get us there again.

Don't be left behind........

For your dispensationalist friends.




They are available here at the Old Lutheran store

There's part of my sick, twisted sense of humor that really wants a pair.

Find Your Inner Garbage Pail Child

For those of us who are Children of the '80s, aside from Reagan, hair metal and the Berlin Wall coming down - there were those famed sticker trading cards, the Garbage Pail Kids. They were usually frowned upon by parents and teachers alike, which resulted in them being a hot underground commodity in my elementary school.

Anyway, for those who want to find out if their name was feature as a GPK, check out this site!

http://www.gpkcentral.com/main.php

A Great Version of "When I Survey"

Someone posted a homemade video of Iona's incredible rendition of "When I Survey" on YouTube. Iona is a fantastic Celtic-influenced progressive rock band from the U.K. and probably my favorite group :)! Check out the video....at least for the song!

Teacher in Space 2.0?

If all goes according to plan, at 6:36 PM local time tomorrow, I finally might have some resolution to some unfinished childhood business.

21 years after the Challenger accident, Barbara Morgan is scheduled to fly on Endeavour tomorrow. She was the backup for Christa McAuliffe in the "Teacher in Space" program. Although she will be more of a crew member than a civilian passenger, in some respects it seems like NASA is finally finishing what they started.

For the latest "play-by-play" for tomorrow's launch: visit http://www.spaceflightnow.com/shuttle/sts118/status.html

The best video coverage, by far is on NASA TV:
http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/nasatv/

I'll probably be up at the Gandy Bridge watching the launch tomorrow...hopefully the weather is clear enough to see it :). Yeah, I'm a dork.

See my earlier entry on Challenger, Columbia and Apollo 1 here. There's also a link to a video for Rush's song Countdown which was about the maiden flight of Columbia.

VeggieTales: Larry goes to purgatory

Here you go, Mark :)

Perseverance in Prayer (or Dr. Strangelove in Diapers)

This is a bit of writer's block break. I've been working on my little write-up on Bolivia to send out to friends and family. It's six pages long and I've got an insane headache...I've been a little under the weather since yesterday, for no good reason. I suspect it's a lack of sleep from the overtime I worked Saturday compounded by my early morning today. (For the third week in a row, writing and printing the church bulletin has been a sanctifying experience. I rebuked the demon of paper jams from the copier today and tried to cast it - in the name of Jesus - into the dog walking down the street, but I was not successful.)

Anyhow, as I was out and about on Friday, God reminded me that he answers prayer - This was such an encouragement!

I tend to be very self-sufficient: I hate asking for help and really, really dislike depending on others to give it. So, often times I lack faith to pray. I'll think things like, "Oh what's the point. God is sovereign anyway. He's already made up his mind." Or, "How do I even know what to pray for? What I want might be really bad for someone else." Sometimes really stupid thoughts cross my mind - ones like, "God is so busy with REAL problems. He doesn't need to hear this too." There are times, when instead of going before the throne of grace, I feel like Charles Manson going before the parole board - where I'm showing up, doing the duty but with little faith that God will provide any positive answer.

But, as I was thinking the other day, God started bringing back memories of all the prayers I've had over the years. Here's the funny thing: all the big ones were answered. I couldn't think of a major previous concern that I've had, which God had not addressed in some fashion.

So, does that mean that the silly things I prayed for as a kid happened exactly as I wanted? No, not really. Let's just say that many of my childhood fantasies were quite megalomaniacal. If they were answered exactly according to my wishes - it would probably suck for the rest of the world. But, the underlying concern that was there when I prayed has always been provided for. Sometimes, God would change my desire, to where the things I wanted as a child, I no longer wanted - such as the desire to take over the world :). Other times, God did grant exactly what I requested, but not under the time frame or circumstances that I demanded.

Fortunately for humanity God didn't answer my prayers for ICBMs - they were for my proposed tree house of mass destruction. Yes, friends, I was a very odd child. Dr. Strangelove in diapers, but by the grace of God I've changed. No, I didn't really pray for thermonuclear weapons, but they would've been cool. (Extensive plans for the treehouse, did in fact, exist - along with a list of targets.)

On a serious note, the other day, God reminded me of how trustworthy he is. When I approach his throne of grace with a request, I can trust that he is going to do the right thing. If what I want isn't such a great idea (a 6 year old with Peacekeeper missiles), he will give what is appropriate and at the right time.

One story in the Bible that I sometimes relate to prayer is the story of Hannah. I'm sure that after years of praying for a kid, she had thoughts like we often do - "why bother," etc. But she persisted and probably wondered why God simply wouldn't answer. She wasn't asking for much, just a baby - something God was perfectly capable of doing. He's certainly been blessing Peninnah - the other wife of Elkanah who was a rather nasty lady. I suspect that it seemed to Hannah that God was holding out on her. From the account in 1 Samuel, she was pretty distraught about the whole experience - emotionally unstable enough to where Eli tells her to get off the bottle and sober up.

When God deemed appropriate, he answered the prayer. Samuel needed to be born at the right place and time to serve Israel through an important time in it's history. Also, Hannah's prayer of thanks is a marvelous piece of poetic praise to God, whose themes - if not direct quotations, ring throughout scripture.

A while back I heard a sermon where the preacher referenced the movie "Apollo 13", which was based on the real life incident that occurred on that spaceflight. He used the illustration of one point where the astronauts became agitated and angry because they needed instructions from mission control and wanted them now. But those instructions were ready for the crew at exactly the right time. We were reminded that God has a sovereign plan and that we can trust him, but that we need to be patient.

Maybe you might want to think back about things you've prayed for over the years? See how God answered those concerns, either by providing for you as requested or providing something more appropriate. Feel free to post in comments, that's why they're open.

Jon Takes on The Veggie Tales....

Posted by popular demand:





What happens when I have a half hour of free time and photoshop. Still need to do the Larry DOA in the pickle jar for Mark Alderman.

This salad shooter one might need to become a t-shirt...the other is a bit PG-13 for that :).

My trip to Philly was great and I've been very busy since I got back. Been kicking around some good ideas for Blog entries, but nothing for certain yet.

The Five-Oh-Four to Boston

The coldness of the station, the bite came sharp anew

People huddled close together, hoping for warmth

Close, but yet distant.

The destinations different, but the cold still the same.

Fog in both directions closed in the platform.

A flicker in the distance, people move to the yellow line.

The next train might be yours - or theirs - or ours – or mine.

The destinations different, but the fog still the same.

The clock stands high above, marking time having passed.

Every moment gained is lost – as the obscured sun marches on

Some ignore the marching beat, reading their books and papers.

Others check their watches with persistence, in fear of the consequences of delay.

The destinations different, but the clock still the same.

The ground shakes gently and in the distance a call is heard.

Metal on metal. Brakes against steel.

The fog is pushed away and the engine rolls into place.

I waited for the Five-Oh-Four to Boston; but for others this was the one.

The destinations different, but the trains all look the same.

I asked the agent, uniform neat and pressed.

“When will the Five-Oh-Four depart, I really need to know?”

He shook his head and said “Soon,” as he marked time on his watch.

“Is it on-time, is it late? Will it come at all?”

The agent turned to serve other customers with more pressing business than I.

The destinations different, but the customers look much the same.

Another shriek of metal, and the squeal of something new.

I hope. A warm train car. A seat. A coffee. A conversation. Progress.

Express service to the end of the line, but not for me - Boston is somewhere in-between.

Almost alone on the platform, through the glass, I see warmth.

Figures wrapped around cups of coffee, or maybe tea.

The destination was different, but my predicament remains the same.

The clock marched on, well past quarter-till-three.

Train, after train came – but yet none for me.

Bob the salesman, Tom the preacher, Joe the lawyer – my platform friends, all were gone

I see a rat below, playing with an empty can.

The destination is irrelevant; beside the vermin, I stand alone.

The clock ticks.

The fog sits.

The rails came from the past and go into the future.

But here I wait. At a small station, fog obscured.

Waiting for the Five-Oh-Four to Boston.

How to Secure God's Blessing

Rev Bob (aka "The Farting Preacher") has been one of my favorites for years. When it comes to Old Time Rob Your Grandma Religion, Bob has the show down to a science. Anyway, I came across a picture of his famed healing calendar. I remember him offering this on Success N Life way back in the day.

For entertainment purposes only, you can visit Rev Bob's website at: http://www.roberttilton.tv/resources

I especially like the title: "How to be rich and have everything YOU ever wanted." I think Jesus said that in the bible somewhere, really. Maybe it was to the rich young ruler.

Wow! An Arminian Bumper Sticker...what a suprise?!

If anyone knows where I can find this gem, please let me know :). I've visited almost every Jesus Junk Store (JJS) in the Tampa Bay Area.....they have plenty of crap, but...sigh...not this fabulous sticker. I could get so much mileage out of this :).

Oooh, a t-shirt would even be better. That might go over really well at New Attitude this year.

There are few smaller JJSes that I still need visit....but I feel like I'm going into a house of ill repute or something, ugh. Maybe I can pick up the latest offering in the "Your Best Life Now" franchise - then again, the "Prayer of Jabez" stuff is probably on clearance now.

From church this morning.

Great God, when I approach thy throne,
And all thy glory see;
This is my stay, and this alone,
That Jesus died for me.

How can soul condem'd to die,
Escape the just decree?
A vile, unworthy wretch am I,
But Jesus died for me.

Burden'd with sin's oppressive chain,
O how can I get free?
No peace can all my efforts gain,
But Jesus died for me.

My course I could not steer
Through life's tempestuous sea;
Did not this truth relieve my fear,
That Jesus died for me.

And Lord, when I behold your face,
This must be all my plea;
Save me by thy almighty grace,
For Jesus died for me.

-Hymn 38, William Hiley Bathurst (1830)

O Great God

O great God of highest heaven
Occupy my lowly heart
Own it all and reign supreme
Conquer every rebel power
Let no vice or sin remain
That resists Your holy war
You have loved and purchased me
Make me Yours forevermore

I was blinded by my sin
Had no ears to hear Your voice
Did not know Your love within
Had no taste for heaven’s joys
Then Your Spirit gave me life
Opened up Your Word to me
Through the gospel of Your Son
Gave me endless hope and peace

Help me now to live a life
That’s dependent on Your grace
Keep my heart and guard my soul
From the evils that I face
You are worthy to be praised
With my every thought and deed
O great God of highest heaven
Glorify Your Name through me

- Bob Kauflin

I really love this song. We sung it in worship at church this morning....it just makes me thankful every time I sing it.

This Week In History

"The space shuttle is by far the most complex machine in the world. When you think about all the thousands of people it took to sit down and design this machine -- the main engines, auxiliary power units, the hydraulics, the flight control systems, the reaction-control jets, the solid rocket boosters, the external tank that fuels the main engines, the crew compartment with all the controls and how we control the vehicle, and all of the time that was spent to put this thing together and make it work - it's to me, inconceivable that you could take a look at the universe and think that it just all happened by accident.

There is no doubt in my mind that God had a very specific and complex plan that He put into work when He created the universe. And inside the vehicle (are) seven astronauts, each one of which is more complex than this vehicle we went up in. And God is an awesome God."

- Commander Rick Husband, STS-107.

January 27, 1967 - Apollo 1 catches fire while undergoing a launch pad test.



January 28, 1986 - Space Shuttle Challenger explodes 73 seconds after liftoff.




February 1, 2003 - Space Shuttle Columbia breaks up on reentry.



In the spirit of exploration, I present one of the best songs written about space flight. Countdown by Rush. (You got to love '80s synth progrock :)! )

A Brilliant Quote

In an earlier post I was talking about how much I was enjoying "Man Who Was Thursday" by G.K. Chesterton. Here is a quote from Chapter 4 that I really enjoyed:


"Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it." :).

A Birthday Gift For Me...

As you may be aware, my birthday is just a few short weeks away.

I came across this game in Borders the other day. I'm sure that if the good Reverend Osteen's picture is on it, it must be good. When you hit 1 million viewers as a televangelist, do they throw in the hairstylist? It looks like he's been visiting the same barber as our friends Rev. Tilton and Rev. Hinn :).

How Deep the Father's Love For Us

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

- Stuart Townend

What's Worse? The theology or the music?

Justin Taylor posted this on his blog.

From our friends at the Pensacola Correctional Center (aka Christian College).....