This is a bit of writer's block break. I've been working on my little write-up on Bolivia to send out to friends and family. It's six pages long and I've got an insane headache...I've been a little under the weather since yesterday, for no good reason. I suspect it's a lack of sleep from the overtime I worked Saturday compounded by my early morning today. (For the third week in a row, writing and printing the church bulletin has been a sanctifying experience. I rebuked the demon of paper jams from the copier today and tried to cast it - in the name of Jesus - into the dog walking down the street, but I was not successful.)
Anyhow, as I was out and about on Friday, God reminded me that he answers prayer - This was such an encouragement!
I tend to be very self-sufficient: I hate asking for help and really, really dislike depending on others to give it. So, often times I lack faith to pray. I'll think things like, "Oh what's the point. God is sovereign anyway. He's already made up his mind." Or, "How do I even know what to pray for? What I want might be really bad for someone else." Sometimes really stupid thoughts cross my mind - ones like, "God is so busy with REAL problems. He doesn't need to hear this too." There are times, when instead of going before the throne of grace, I feel like Charles Manson going before the parole board - where I'm showing up, doing the duty but with little faith that God will provide any positive answer.
But, as I was thinking the other day, God started bringing back memories of all the prayers I've had over the years. Here's the funny thing: all the big ones were answered. I couldn't think of a major previous concern that I've had, which God had not addressed in some fashion.
So, does that mean that the silly things I prayed for as a kid happened exactly as I wanted? No, not really. Let's just say that many of my childhood fantasies were quite megalomaniacal. If they were answered exactly according to my wishes - it would probably suck for the rest of the world. But, the underlying concern that was there when I prayed has always been provided for. Sometimes, God would change my desire, to where the things I wanted as a child, I no longer wanted - such as the desire to take over the world :). Other times, God did grant exactly what I requested, but not under the time frame or circumstances that I demanded.
Fortunately for humanity God didn't answer my prayers for ICBMs - they were for my proposed tree house of mass destruction. Yes, friends, I was a very odd child. Dr. Strangelove in diapers, but by the grace of God I've changed. No, I didn't really pray for thermonuclear weapons, but they would've been cool. (Extensive plans for the treehouse, did in fact, exist - along with a list of targets.)
On a serious note, the other day, God reminded me of how trustworthy he is. When I approach his throne of grace with a request, I can trust that he is going to do the right thing. If what I want isn't such a great idea (a 6 year old with Peacekeeper missiles), he will give what is appropriate and at the right time.
One story in the Bible that I sometimes relate to prayer is the story of Hannah. I'm sure that after years of praying for a kid, she had thoughts like we often do - "why bother," etc. But she persisted and probably wondered why God simply wouldn't answer. She wasn't asking for much, just a baby - something God was perfectly capable of doing. He's certainly been blessing Peninnah - the other wife of Elkanah who was a rather nasty lady. I suspect that it seemed to Hannah that God was holding out on her. From the account in
1 Samuel, she was pretty distraught about the whole experience - emotionally unstable enough to where Eli tells her to get off the bottle and sober up.
When God deemed appropriate, he answered the prayer. Samuel needed to be born at the right place and time to serve Israel through an important time in it's history. Also, Hannah's prayer of thanks is a marvelous piece of poetic praise to God, whose themes - if not direct quotations, ring throughout scripture.
A while back I heard a sermon where the preacher referenced the movie "Apollo 13", which was based on the real life incident that occurred on that spaceflight. He used the illustration of one point where the astronauts became agitated and angry because they needed instructions from mission control and wanted them now. But those instructions were ready for the crew at exactly the right time. We were reminded that God has a sovereign plan and that we can trust him, but that we need to be patient.
Maybe you might want to think back about things you've prayed for over the years? See how God answered those concerns, either by providing for you as requested or providing something more appropriate. Feel free to post in comments, that's why they're open.
