Godly Ambition

My church just finished a short sermon series on godly ambition, which was quite helpful. You can visit the website to download it (the series is "Wired For Glory.")

The title and content of the series reminded me of C.S. Lewis' essay "Weight of Glory," where Lewis discusses that motivation and the desire for approval is from God but that must be centered on pleasing God and striving for heavenly reward. Many of us are familiar with this quote from that essay:

"Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

I'm not going to recap the sermons, as I'd just recommend any readers download them and listen. However, a few points that came to mind:

1. Ambition is a good thing, but can quickly turn ugly.

Like all people, I tend to be a contradictory chimera. I am ambitious, but prone to laziness. My motivation often tends to follow how much natural ability I have in a given area. Or, I follow the path of least resistance and do what I like and avoid what I don't.

I have been known to beat the proverbial dead horse and not give up on a blocked ambition. A classic example was in my pursuit of flying as a career. It was pretty clear by my freshman year in college that I was not going to be an airline pilot....but I fought with God over that for two years. God resists the proud, and as my pride rose so did his resistance. I became angry, discontent and generally just miserable about where things were going.

In one sense, this idea of faithful dedication to a cause can be beneficial. Sometimes, persistent work can yield success and build character at the same time. I'm grateful for people in my life who haven't just bailed when times got tough or when they got a "no" or "get lost" the first time they asked me a question. Church history is filled with people that were ambitious and who saw the fruit of their labor only in their final years, or after their passing.

Faithfulness and standing steadfast are a good thing - but if we are doing it against counsel, God's revealed will or the conviction of the Holy Spirit; then it becomes an evidence of pride and is a symptom of having a hard heart. One of the most convicting things I ever encountered in preaching was when Mark Driscoll commented in his Ecclesiastes series that people who resist change are sometimes just resisting God. My friend and former pastor Daryn had once told me the same thing and Driscoll's sermon put that tendency of mine in perspective.

2. A lack of ambition is laziness.

However, I'm paradoxical. If something isn't high up on my "desire" list, I can be less than ambitious. This would be laziness. If I see something as unlikely, hard or requiring years of work with little chance of success - a clear lack of faith in God is evident in my life. I don't really trust God to change me or intervene in certain circumstances. I find it kind of odd that the same person who who is seen as goal-driven has many areas where I'd rather just do nothing.

As I've moved to Philadelphia, I've found myself at a large church where on the surface it seems like they got everything covered. Covenant Fellowship has a paid staff and a lot of members to serve. Many of them are more gifted then me. So, I've been finding myself prone to laziness; although I have a strong love for the local church and God's people, I've been putting off seriously looking for areas to serve. Even if it is a big church, there are areas where servants are needed and it's plain lazy for me to just sit back and rest.

3. Cynicism is an ungodly response to unfulfilled ambition.

I am a fairly established cynic, or realist, as I would put it. In the last sermon (August 3), Dave Harvey noted how one response to discontent can be an attempt at taking our ambition off the table with God. It's basically the adult version of throwing a fit, and taking our ball home because we didn't like the rules or outcome of the game.

Yes, in one sense, I tend to look at the darker side of life. I suppose some of that is my propensity to introspection, but it can be unhealthy if I don't see God's answer to the cold realities of life. However, I have been one to play the "take my ball home" game quite often. Why?

Much of this has to do with pride: I don't like to admit that I failed. Sometimes the failure was due to my own incompetence or weakness. Instead of chalking up the failure to learning the hard way and being grateful that God is growing my character, I decided to blame the failure on external circumstances or just shove it in the junk drawer of my life. I find it funny how even some of the neatest people I know have a few closets or drawers where the junk that they don't want to deal with gets tossed. Heck, there are people whose entire basements are monuments to forgotten projects and bad ideas! I guess I assume that if I don't have to see it or live with it, then I don't have to deal with it. Let's not talk about my failures, just my successes (and then you can remind me, as much as you'd like, how wonderful I am) - thank you!

In my pride, I want to set the direction for my life and have those plans come to fruition. Compared to where I was three or four years ago, God has shown me that he has precedent over my calendar and goals. But, when I set out on a given path that I've decided on, deviation can be hard and I can resist. (Again, the Mark Driscoll quote about resisting God comes to mind.) When I want to do something, I'll won't give up - the sinful side of steadfastness is stubbornness. So, when my plans are frustrated, I'll turn into a cynic and tell everyone else how stupid of an idea it is and how I'm just better than that. Pride again, my friends.

The odd thing about cynicism is that it finds company. I would find friends in similar circumstances and we'd just feed on our discontent and heap what essentially amounted to mutual discouragement on each other. Instead of serving one another by stressing what Christ has done for us and his amazing love demonstrated on the cross, cynical friends remind each other that life is just giant discouragement with more loss around the corner. The biblical view is that life is a mix of good and bad circumstances, but as the sermon series notes - contentment is not rooted in our circumstances and transcends them. A cynical philosophy encourages others to incorrectly measure their view of God by their immediate circumstances.

Thankfully, I have faithful friends that would step into my cynicism parties and yank the needle off the spinning record of despair. Those friends were faithful and true, because I usually didn't take to this all that well.

When sin is pointed out in my life, the response often isn't, "Thank you bro, for bringing that sin to light. I am so gracious for the means of grace you are to me." I tended to be harsh, argumentative and would try to sell them on joining the Traveling Despair and Cynicism Road Show. It is a great calling to spend your time extinguishing hope and joy in others, I tell you. I'd say that I was just bringing people to see the futility of chasing their silly dreams and to be "content" where God has called them to be. Really, what I meant was to give up and stew in anger over God's sovereignty and kind intervention in our lives.

I think this series has provided some clarification for ambition. It is a good thing, but involves a big picture view of what God is doing. A large part of this involves exhibiting humility and understanding that God does give us desires and plans, but that they are not to be our idols. Chasing those idols, as C.S. Lewis points out in his quote from "Weight of Glory," is a poor excuse for the real thing.

May we make our ambition to have a holiday at the sea and not to merely find contentment with the mud in our backyard.

A Time For Every Purpose Under Heaven…

Life has been busy as I look for a place to live, but things are going very well here in Philly. Well, I haven’t been robbed or shot at yet, nor has my car been broken into. So, I’m feeling rather fortunate.

Right before I left for Philly, a family from church invited me over for fellowship and in the course of conversation, provided me with a copy of Mark Driscoll’s series on Ecclesiastes. I’ve been reading a book on postmodernism and Ecclesiastes, and have always enjoyed studying that book of the Bible.

However, this series has challenged me in many ways. I’m generally familiar with the book, but Mark’s teaching has been really used to illuminate some areas in my life where God is at work. I’m grateful that God has provided this teaching for me at this time, as it’s just another example of his faithfulness. In particular, I’ve been considering the following:

1. What am I pursuing to make me happy? Driscoll preaches straight-up old school John Piper in this series, but with my sense of humor. (I think that is what makes people either like or hate Mark J….who can’t love a line like, “I’m glad God made cows out of steak.”) The messages have emphasized that our goals will never make us happy. I’ve learned this in some sense as I’ve lived my life this far, where the things that once seemed really exciting or the next big thing, ended up being fairly dull once they were attained or became common. We get bored with new toys, it happens as children and it will happen to us as adults. I’m frequently pursuing the next big thing and often have so much of my joy tied up my expectations. This series has reminded me to seek my satisfaction in God and for him to give me the ability to enjoy life.

2. Where am I? One of the best messages so far was the one on seasons of life. Although Mark did crack on The Byrd’s song “Turn, Turn, Turn,” of which I’m a fan – I’ll forgive him. This sermon reminded me that there is a time and a season for everything and that we can seek to enjoy what God has given us now. Particularly of interest was when he talked about those who fight change and want to keep things the same, just because they like it that way. Mark noted that often people like that are fighting what God is doing. As most of you know, I don’t like change a whole lot. I’ve put a lot of effort into changing that over the years and have seen some fruit and situations like this relocation to Philadelphia will certainly encourage growth. However, it was an encouragement for me to relax and stop trying to control the minutia of my life. One thing that was particularly interesting was where he talked about “giving up” for a time when God is not working in a given area. He used the examples of someone trying to find a spouse or a promotion, if I recall. The tendency noted was becoming more and more agitated as things weren’t happening – who does that sound like? Mark made the observation that if God isn’t working somewhere in your life, it is okay to step back, take a breath and work on other things. I wish that I’d figured that one out a few years ago, but it is a good reminder that I need to remember that God is sovereign and that if doors aren’t opening in a given area, that’s okay.

3. Friendship. If Ecclesiastes is a book about philosophy, where does it talk about friends? Mark gave a great message from chapter 4 on fellowship. He made the point that there are obstacles to fellowship, particularly greed, envy, laziness and apathy. People that live in these various forms of selfishness are prone to have very messed up relationships, if they have many at all. In moving to a new city, I found this to be quite insightful, as I tend to have difficulty with making friends – often for a few of those reasons. I don’t really see myself as greedy and working too much. But, envy, laziness and apathy are things that I can relate to quite well. I find it a heck of lot easier to come home and do my own thing, rather than to deal with the “headaches” of other people. I know that is sad, but it’s often a true indicator of how my heart can be. The sermon encouraged people to repent of those sins and to pursue community through participation in their local church. I have begun the long process of building those friendships here in Philadelphia, and I will have to purpose to look out for the interests of others over my own shallow happiness, which would prefer to find a book and a beer at the end of long day work. I find it quite difficult to break into existing social networks, but then again, as I noted earlier, there is a time for everything.

So, these messages have provided a unique equipping for this season of life that I’m in. I almost have this dumb look on my face frequently, “Huh, how did I get back to Philadelphia?” At times in my life, there have been certain growing seasons where a lot of fruit was produced and the lessons taught from scripture were very beneficial. I think this may be one of those times on the horizon. It seems like God has put me in an uncomfortable spot, where I have to exhibit practical put-one-foot-in-front-of-the-other faith in Him, and where I can live out a lot of the truths that I’ve been exposed to.

The Best Philly Song Ever....

As I fly up to Philadelphia today, I had to remember the best Philly song of all time. I'm sorry folks, I like The Boss, but this is way better than Springsteen's thoughts on the city:



See how many Philadelphia landmarks you can find in the video :).

Some things aren't meant to go together....

I am quite the fan of some of the various Celtic influenced music. I like some of the more traditional Celtic bands, such as Clannad. I also enjoy Iona's Celtic influenced Progressive Rock (sorta Clannad meets Pink Floyd). Then, who can't enjoy the the strains of some good old Celtic influenced punk, like the Pogues, Flogging Molly or Boston's own - the Dropkick Murphys.

However, I while egosurfing for my own last name, I made a horrific discovery. A chimera of shocking proportions. A freak of nature.

I discovered Irish Country Music. No, this isn't another name for traditional Irish music. This is Celtic influenced country - and was absolutely awful.

I'm not a huge country fan, but some of it I do like - I actually like Garth Brooks quite a bit and Johnny Cash as well. Although bluegrass brings out the northeastern prejudices of mine and I can only think of snake handlers and Deliverance, I actually do enjoy some bluegrass influenced folk rock, such as Indelible Grace and Caedmon's Call.

However, this genre sets a standard of just being terrible. What's odd and scary is that it seems to have been around for a while and actually has fans.

I include a few videos below and I apologize in advance if any of my readers are avid Irish Country fans.