"And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.And God's anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the LORD stood in the way for an adversary against him.
Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two servants were with him. And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field: and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way.
But the angel of the LORD stood in a path of the vineyards, a wall being on this side, and a wall on that side. And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she thrust herself unto the wall, and crushed Balaam's foot against the wall: and he smote her again. And the angel of the LORD went further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left. And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff.
And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times? And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee. And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? And he said, Nay.
Then the LORD opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face. And the angel of the LORD said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me: And the ass saw me, and turned from me these three times: unless she had turned from me, surely now also I had slain thee, and saved her alive. And Balaam said unto the angel of the LORD, I have sinned; for I knew not that thou stoodest in the way against me: now therefore, if it displease thee, I will get me back again." -Numbers 22:22-34, KJV
For anyone who knows me, I'm a fairly meticulous person. I like things planned, organized, reliable and to go according plan - ahem, my plan. I spend time thinking, praying, thinking some more and then making the best plan possible that will (hopefully) ensure some measure of success.
This week, I had a plan - nothing sinful, nothing rebellious, just following what I thought what might be God's direction. I happily mounted my ass and trotted off into the sunset, then God stopped me - dead in my tracks. Much like Balaam, I got really angry and proceeded to beat the living snot out of the proverbial ass.
Then, today , although I was reading the Psalms - God suddenly reminded me of Balaam and his ass. I always remembered that story from Sunday School. (I guess when you're a kid at a church that prefers the ye-olde King Jimmy, any flannelgraph bible story with the a-word in it is pretty memorable. "Huh, huh, Beavis, the Sunday School teacher said......" Okay, I've demonstrated my childhood depravity....back to the story.)
I was quite convicted of my lack of belief in God's providence. We often hear those stories about the guy who got stuck in traffic and then missed the plane that crashed. Oddly enough, while I was praying about my decision and direction, I kept asking for God to make his will known. Duh, God answered my prayer - and I just stand there, stick in my hand, beating the ass.
I can't quite say that I suddenly looked up and saw an angel with a sword....but I suddenly came to the realization that God sees the road ahead. I'm standing here on the side of the road, angry about my delay, angry about my plan being messed with, angry that God is messing with me - but do I see the angel in the road? Am I angry at God's providential care and concern for me? I'm out swinging my stick, striking out at friends, God and about anything else around me - totally oblivious of what God is doing here. Not like I have the slightest clue what God is doing....but if he cared enough to stop me on the road....shouldn't I, like Balaam, fall to my knees and worship?
2 comments:
The present is never our end. The past and the present are our means, the future alone our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live, and since we are always planning how to be happy, it is inevitable that we should never be so. - Blaise Pascal
I find that encouraging and motivating in a really dark sort of way?
That's a great quote.
I was listening to some old school Steve Taylor this weekend (aka Chagall Guevera)and finally got the lyrics to "Escher's World."
It's totally about Ecclesiastes, in a Steve Taylor kind of way. We're in Escher's World - a world distorted by sin, where it's all a screwy illusion: "where up is down, down is out, out is in." Where "Stairways circle back to where you've been" Where "We're wide away within our dreams." It's all real, but it's a shadow of reality.
I guess this comment kind of spans across a few of the posts...but man, I love Steve Taylor :). I listened to "I Blew Up The Clinic Real Good" on the way to work today...almost laughed so hard I cried.
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